Chanel

I don't know how much longer I can keep going like this.. This is not me! Maybe I did die in the hospital, this darkness is like none I've seen bf! This lack of energy, or sense or emptiness I never lived to see..

It's not like im dying.. Its just that im not really here.. Im not really anywhere

I know somewhere deep inside I need help, but there is no help in this town! It's bco the "help" I had at the hospital im like this. They starved my soul to death and left me my body rotting!



 I feel the fog building inside my head,
judgement clouded and hope misled.
I know now everything is almost dead,
for this is the demon I have fed.

I helped you grow, aided you to steal;
to the disorder I'd never stand but kneel.
Emptiness present but trying to feel,
knowing with certainty I'll never heal.

My life is a blur of black and white,
but it'll never be a clear cut sight -
I open my eyes; only right or wrong,
as I block it out for peace tonight.

I want a buzz and I need a thrill,
I have to chase it and you know I will.
I know that I should just take the pill,
but you're a beast out to kill.

I laugh and smile, this is a game.
Who will win and inflict the most pain?
Thoughts are racing and it's a strain,
but this is life and it'll happen again.

I won't quit cause I'll never win,
and for me the world will always spin.
So don't bother calling my next of kin,
cause to the truth I give in.