Chanel

 

 

 

 

Dear Diary

 

 

Mirror mirror on the wall..

 

OFC I'm still heartbroken that ÖP (österlenportens treatmentcenter) miss-read  my journals... I'm so chocked that they won't take on my case(and save my life)..  

 

But I have to stay positive to survive. Maybe it's my destiny? Maybe it's my time.. Mother Earth got to have balance!

 

I've been wanting,asking,crying,screaming,dying,begging,on my knees to come to this treatment company in Stockholm. 

 

And I hope and I pray to God that they accept me and that my city finally(after 5 years..)will sponsor me to go there! 

 

They have many different units. The one I'm interested in is close to town, has 24/7 h staff and just 3 other "patients". When you feel better or you can actually skip the units and move in to an apartment right away.

 

 You get to decorate it as you wish, live alone, have support(ed,ptsd,bpd,selfharm) and help with foodshopping etc. + you still get treatment at there therapy center!

 

It's my laste Chance, hope and try before I die

 

What ever happens I will never forget, but try to forgive..

 

My 7 (forced) years in the same neigber hood as my rapists,bullies haters and in a town I hate and harm myself.

 

My 2 times in "Youth prison" (P12 units) when a was 12 years old!!!!!! I'd never done anything illegal (and the facilities was worse than jail, I swear)

 

I will never ever forget my 10 years in and out of hospitals while everyone just watched me fade day by day, year by year..

 

I hope I'll always remember the perfect borderline between love and hate, best friend and worst enemy, pretty and ugly, small and big