Chanel

 

 

I'm at the clinic now. Yesterday was fine, but today (right now) I feel like sh*t.. I binged 800-1200 calories last night when I couldn't sleep. And today I try to restrict but I have a food baby now and it hurts like hell. Lunch gave me so much anxiety I had to take a Diazepa. I have only 1/day MAX! Soon I'll have 0. I don't know my weight and it kills. F this S.. F*ck mental illness! All I think of here is ED/food/weight related.. I don't wanna become an active bulimic again..:/ (I don't wanna start purging,3 years ago I did it many times everyday..) 

 

i ate ate way to much quantity of veggies and salad to fill me up so I wouldn't wanna binge again. Now my belly hurts so much I wanna cry!